


The End of the Line

by NoShipsLikePartnerships



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), and the second half is angst, it's all fun and games until the parallels kick you in the feels, the first half of this is incredibly self-indulgent, vague spoilers for several marvel movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 09:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16014959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoShipsLikePartnerships/pseuds/NoShipsLikePartnerships
Summary: Newt, for his part, has always gravitated more toward monster movies than superhero films, and Hermann’s memories of them are rather fuzzy, so they are both going in with very little knowledge of what to expect. Hermann is sure it will be fine, though.This is his first mistake.





	The End of the Line

**Author's Note:**

> I'd been kicking this idea around for a little while, and then this [post](https://avelera.tumblr.com/post/178045657585/i-cant-believe-bucky-barnes-from-the-captain) inspired me to finally sit down and write it. 
> 
> Also, I don't usually tend to write in present tense, but it actually seemed to work better in this case? At any rate, it was fun to try something different!

**** Hermann wakes to find an empty space beside him in bed, not an unusual occurrence these last few months. Newt’s sessions have been going well, and he’s down to only one or two nightmares a week, as opposed to every other day, but he still doesn’t sleep in nearly as late as he used to. 

Through the open door, Hermann can make out faint noises coming from down the hall. Knowing that he won’t be able to fall asleep again, he decides that he may as well get up too. He blearily reaches for his cane before climbing out of the bed and pulling on his robe over his pajamas, then follows the sounds to the living room. There, he finds Newt seated before the television, bathed in the early morning light, and clad in an old t-shirt and sweatpants. On the screen, a group of vehicles is driving through the desert, and then something explodes. Hermann is slightly taken aback.

“What in God’s name are you watching at this hour?”

Newt looks up at Hermann from his spot on the couch. “MCU,” he answers, as if that explains anything.

It is much too early for this, and Hermann hasn’t had his coffee yet. He stares at Newt blankly until he elaborates. 

“Marvel movies. There’s a marathon on all weekend,” Newt explains, between mouthfuls of whatever sugary concoction is passing for breakfast cereal today. “It just started and I’ve never seen them, so...” he shrugs. “I thought it might be fun.” 

This is his way of inviting Hermann to join him. 

Hermann has never been particularly interested in the films himself—all bright colors and loud noises, they were too long, and a tad too violent for his liking. However, his nieces and nephews had loved them at the time, and he has a vague recollection of watching a few with them on occasion. 

He’d initially been a little surprised that the studio had continued to churn them out over the years, even in the wake of a real-life alien invasion, but he’d supposed that Hollywood stopped for no one. Given that people constantly sought some form or other of escapism, especially at that point in time, he can see how they would have remained popular regardless.

His curiosity gets the better of him and, besides, these days he has a hard time denying Newt anything he asks for, as he asks for so little. After putting on a pot of coffee and making himself some toast—it’s the only thing he can stomach so early in the morning, but it’s still a decidedly healthier breakfast than whatever Newt is eating, and he makes some for him as well—Hermann returns to the living room.

As he sits down to join Newt on the couch, he figures that, at most, it will be some mindless entertainment, a good way to spend a Saturday, especially this one. A welcome distraction from all that’s happened, as they try and reclaim some semblance of normalcy. Newt, for his part, has always gravitated more toward monster movies than superhero films, and Hermann’s memories of them are rather fuzzy, so they are both going in with very little knowledge of what to expect. Hermann is sure it will be fine, though.

This is his first mistake.

It all starts out harmlessly enough—watching a billionaire tech genius build himself a flying suit of armor is, admittedly, a bit silly, but Hermann appreciates the ingenuity of it, and can understand the appeal. It’s only when they reach the next one that his suspension of disbelief begins to waver.

“That isn’t... that is _not_ how gamma radiation works,” he mutters, as Bruce Banner explains how he became The Hulk. Newt snickers beside him. 

After a brief, but not especially memorable, return to the world of the tech industry, (the subplot about Stark’s issues with his father strikes a chord that Hermann doesn’t care to dwell on), they move on to myth and magic. Hermann isn’t especially well-versed in Norse mythology, but he’s fairly certain that quite a few liberties have been taken on that front. He is pleased to hear Clarke’s Third Law being quoted, though, and ends up enjoying the cosmic aspect of the film much more than he expected to. It also doesn’t hurt that the God of Thunder himself is very attractive.

Taking advantage of the interminably long credit sequence, Hermann prepares some lunch—he wouldn’t have minded ordering out but everything will be closed today, even the restaurants—and then they continue on to the 1940s to witness the birth of the First Avenger. They both find the depiction of Hydra to be mildly offensive, though Hermann does understand the importance of the group to the character’s origins as a beacon of hope in World War II.

“Besides,” Newt point outs, “who doesn’t like seeing Hitler get punched in the face?”

Hermann is inclined to agree with him.

The movies become a fair bit more interconnected from that point on, and it’s surprisingly complicated for what he’d previously assumed to be mindless blockbusters. Perhaps he had judged them a bit too harshly.

Next is the culmination of the films up to this point, as all of the heroes finally meet and join forces (after fighting amongst themselves first). Watching the alien invasion of New York, however, makes them both feel slightly uncomfortable. The film may have come out a year before the first kaiju attack, but it’s not nearly as entertaining in retrospect. 

The villain of the piece also possesses the ability to brainwash people, which Hermann wishes he’d remembered, as he belatedly realizes that he’s seen this one before. He glances over at Newt, who visibly tenses during these scenes. Hermann wonders if he should say something, then worries that he’s being too overprotective, something that Newt has accused him of in the past. He remains silent, and the moment passes.

Things only get darker from there, as Tony Stark struggles with anxiety and PTSD after the events of the previous film. They watch as he wakes, panicked, from a nightmare, and Newt makes a sound that breaks Hermann’s heart. Hermann reaches over to intertwine their fingers, and gives Newt’s hand a reassuring squeeze. Newt squeezes back fiercely. Despite this particular subject matter, the film features quite a few humorous moments which help to lighten the mood, and he feels Newt relax.

Hermann has to fight not to roll his eyes too much at the scientific inaccuracies in the next one, as the laws of physics get thrown out the window. He sympathizes with the poor scientists, who desperately try to make sense of it all. 

“You’d totally be the Jane in this scenario, by the way,” Newt comments, then grins. “Which obviously makes me Thor.”

“You are,” Hermann responds dryly, “most definitely a Darcy.”

“Yeah,” Newt tilts his head and considers this, “I can see it."

They’ve forgone dinner in favor of munching on the multitude of snacks that they’ve accumulated on the coffee table by this point, which Hermann is sure is not good for either of them. He suspects that the intake of so much junk food is possibly what’s kept them going for this long.

Hermann stifles a yawn, and glances at the clock on the far wall. He isn’t so much surprised by the time—each movie’s length is at least two hours—but by how quickly it seems to have gone by. They have, essentially, spent the entire day there, taking small breaks as needed during the credits. He’s still in his robe and pajamas, and can’t remember the last time that’s happened. In fact, he can’t remember the last time they’ve done anything like this, and it’s a welcome change of pace. 

“Did you want to stop?” Newt asks him, misreading the movement.

“It _is_ getting late,” Hermann replies, “but... we can watch one more, if you’d like.”

Newt laughs and points a finger at him in triumph. “Admit it, you’re enjoying these!”

“I will admit no such thing, though they are better than I expected them to be,” Hermann says. “I was not, however, expecting very much,” he clarifies.

“Uh-huh.” Newt stretches out, cat-like in his movements, then rearranges himself so that he is curled up against Hermann. “One more, then?”

Hermann can feel a bit of a headache coming on, after sitting here and staring at the television screen for so long, but he believes that he can make it through another couple of hours.

“One more,” Hermann agrees.

This is his second mistake.

It becomes very clear, very quickly, that this film is different from the rest. It is much more of a spy thriller, for one thing, and those have always been a guilty pleasure. It is much more gripping and emotional as well, and Hermann realizes, too late, what the particular twist is in this story.

As the titular assassin is revealed to be Steve Rogers’ best friend, long thought dead, and with no memory of even his own name, Newt—who had been commenting off-handedly at random intervals—suddenly becomes very quiet, and stills beside him.

Shortly after comes the scene where Barnes, who has started to remember, is helpless against his captors as they strap him down to a machine and steal his memories, and his identity, once more. The confused resignation with which he accepts this torturous act is devastating. Newt watches, transfixed, and inhales sharply at the sound of the character’s muffled screams. The parallels are distressing, to say the least, and Hermann can only imagine what must be going through Newt’s mind in this moment, what horrors this is bringing back to him.

“Would you like me to turn it off?” Hermann asks softly. Newt wordlessly shakes his head, eyes never leaving the screen.

By the time the two friends face off once more, Newt is sniffling, and Hermann himself is having a hard time watching the confrontation unfold. The scene is painfully, achingly familiar. By the time the words “I’m with you to the end of the line” are spoken, Newt starts to cry, and once Barnes goes against his programming to save his friend, Newt is bawling until the credits roll. His face is pressed against Hermann’s shoulder, and Hermann can feel the fabric of his robe growing damp. He finds the remote, wedged between the couch cushions on his other side, and turns off the volume. The date flashes briefly in the corner of the screen as he does so.

Today is January 12th, the anniversary of the closing of the breach, of their victory over the kaiju, or so they had believed. It had once been a day worth celebrating—it had even been declared a holiday not long afterward—but now, eleven years on, it only serves to remind Hermann of what it cost them. He’d hoped to spare Newt that pain, if only for today, but it seems that, as usual, the universe had other plans.

“Shhh,” he soothes, and kisses the top of Newt’s head. “It’s alright.” This has become something of a mantra for them, now. Even when Newt doesn’t believe it, just hearing the words often helps. Newt says something, but it’s muffled against Hermann’s shoulder. “What’s that, darling?” he murmurs, and Newt tries again.

“I wasn’t...” he gulps between sobs, “I wasn’t strong enough to... to stop...” _To stop from hurting you, to stop them from trying to end the world, to stop myself from being taken in the first place_. Hermann knows all the possible ways this sentence can end, knows that Newt still feels guilt for all of these things, even though he shouldn’t. It’s a conversation they’ve had many times, and Hermann always reminds him that none of what happened was ever his fault.

“Newton, look at me,” Hermann says, gently pulling back and cupping Newt’s face with his hand. “You are the strongest person I have ever known. You are _here_. You beat them.” He runs a thumb along Newt’s cheek, wet with tears. “Every moment that you are alive, you continue to beat them.”

Newt stares up at him and nods, too overcome with emotion to speak. As another sob escapes, he falls forward and Hermann catches him, he will always be there to catch him. Hermann shifts, so that Newt’s head is pillowed against his lap, his fingers stroking Newt’s hair, holding him for as long as he needs to be held, until he has no more tears left to shed.

Hermann would gladly hold him until the end of time, if need be, until the end of the world.

Until the end of the line.

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone unfamiliar with the MCU, the movies watched are: Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Avengers, Iron Man 3, Thor: The Dark World and, of course, Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I'm actually not sure if it's possible, or a good idea, to watch all of these in one sitting, but either way these guys are troopers. 
> 
> Clarke's Third Law states that "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" and is quoted in Thor (and then paraphrased in The Dark World).
> 
> Fun fact: January 12th, 2036 will indeed fall on a Saturday. Another 'fun' fact: it's also a week before Newt's birthday, which I realized well into this and couldn't figure out how to incorporate by then (or if I even should, as there's already so much going on here, angst-wise). So I may or may not write something about that at some point (spoiler alert: I've already started writing it).
> 
> As always, feedback is welcome :)


End file.
